I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you had me at cake vodka
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
