im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
