i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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