can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
