I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
