I heard we made out
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
