hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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