thus making me awesome and them whores
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
