All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
