I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
