Only a mothe r could love this liver
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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