This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
