We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
