To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
