Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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