we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
