May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
