Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
