I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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