everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
