He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
