I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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