Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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