He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
