you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
