Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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