she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
