You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
