Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
