The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
