there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
