She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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