It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
