Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
