When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
