your thong is hanging out like whoa
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
