the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
