Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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