now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i love accidental penises.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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