But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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