So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
