Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
