Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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