Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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