ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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