And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
