Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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