Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
