You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just found puke in my bra..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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