sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
