Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
