i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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