glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i will never coherently bang her
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
