Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
